


It's Good to Be General

by green_grrl



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-10
Updated: 2011-10-10
Packaged: 2017-12-10 11:47:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/785719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/green_grrl/pseuds/green_grrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As leader of the SGC, Jack doesn't get offworld often enough, but this mission he's sure as hell taking. </p><p>AKA the mission to Planet Beer one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Good to Be General

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://theemdash.livejournal.com/profile)[**theemdash**](http://theemdash.livejournal.com/) in the [](http://jd-ficathon.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**jd_ficathon**](http://jd-ficathon.dreamwidth.org/) , who wanted 1. First time. 2. Mission in progress. Optional request: awkward or angry if feelings are expressed. Huge thank-yous to [](http://princessofgeeks.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**princessofgeeks**](http://princessofgeeks.dreamwidth.org/) and [](http://brainofck.dreamwidth.org/profile)[](http://brainofck.dreamwidth.org/)**brainofck** for last-minute betaing. Late season 8. References to Seth, The Curse, Icon, Covenant, Sacrifices, Endgame, Prometheus Unbound, It's Good to be King, and Atlantis: Rising.  
> 

Jack sat at the head of the briefing room table, running his palms over the surface. Oh, yeah. There were times he loved being The Man.

Colonels Reynolds, Ferretti, and Dixon sat around the table shooting unhappy glances at each other. Each had walked jauntily into the room, only to slow his steps and frown as he saw members of SG-1 and the other team leaders there. Jack contained his urge to grin, keeping a neutral expression as Carter came slipping in the door and slid into the last seat.

"Ah, good, he said. "Let's get started."

He swept his pointer finger around the table. "The briefing is for the follow-up mission to P5X …" He groped for the number.

"Planet Beer!" Ferretti interrupted. The other team leaders laughed, and Jack allowed himself a slightly evil smirk.

"Daniel?"

"P5X-492," Daniel, next to him, said mildly.

"Ah, yes. Good old 492. Otherwise known as Half-a-tent—"

"Haphentut," Daniel corrected.

"Yes, that—or … Planet Beer."

The colonels grinned.

"So," Jack continued, "Ever since the news broke that Carter's going to DC to work on technology contractor stuff, each one of you has come up to me to request the mission, so I figured I'd better pull all of you guys in to let you know." He paused for dramatic effect. "I've made my decision."

His team leaders projected macho confidence, but their eyes were watching him expectantly. Jack strung them along by looking blankly around the table for a few beats. When they started shifting in their chairs he decided to put them out of their misery.

"Oh. I'll be leading the mission."

Three pairs of eyes couldn't hide their dismay. Even Daniel and Carter blinked. Teal'c, of course, was solid as a rock.

"You sure you should go offworld, sir?" Dixon asked, just shy of challenging.

Jack waved off the implications. "Nothing crucial going on here. Pretend I'm in Minnesota. Well, except when my IDC comes through the gate," he amended with a frown. "Then pretend I'm offworld, and open the iris."

Now everyone was staring blankly at him. He was so ready for a vacation.

"Sir," Reynolds said, "Why …" He apparently couldn't figure out a way to finish his question, but Jack took pity on him.

"Numero uno …" He held up a finger. "The Half-a-tentans want to negotiate with a leader, so, hey. Leader, here. Numero dos …" He popped up a second finger and waved it. "I miss going through the gate. The last time I was offworld all I got was Maybourne, a ship that flies by the power of my migraine, and a case of the trots from those guango things." He shuddered in memory. "And three," he continued, "I know three Air Force wives who'd have me strung up by the balls if they found out I sent their husbands to a place called Planet Beer. Sorry guys, I'm more scared of them than I am of you."

Three colonels slumped slightly in their seats, and Jack caught Carter smirking.

"Ferretti, you'll be in charge while I'm gone. Any emergencies, I'm trusting you to take care of things. Otherwise, just do whatever Walter tells you to—that's what I do, anyway." He looked around the table. "So, anyone wanna stick around for the Goa'uld history lesson?"

Three chairs went flying backwards and three colonels rushed the door, avoiding Daniel's eyes.

"Well, that's one way to clear the room," Jack said. He grinned smugly at Daniel's frown.

He turned to Carter. "You have everything you need for your trip?"

"Yes, sir," she reported. "I've reviewed all the technologies we've provided to private contractors. With Agent Barrett's latest investigations on them, there should be enough for our review panel to make recommendations from."

Jack wrinkled his nose. "I don't like the idea of letting more people in on the program."

Daniel stuck in, "Yes, but the President doesn't want another Coulson."

Jack flapped a hand at him. "Disclosure could cause that just as easily as keeping the secret."

"That's why Agent Barrett and I are going over the files with a fine-toothed comb, sir, and meeting with all the candidates personally," Carter said, in that way she had of sounding like everything was going to work out perfectly as planned. Granted, she was smart enough it usually did—that's why he trusted her.

"All right, all right. Go … do." He waved his hands to shoo her out. "We'll hoist a glass for you on Half-a-tent."

"I can't say I'll miss the hangovers, sir," she said with a sunny grin, and left the room.

Jack sighed and leaned his chin on his hand. "So. Gods of beer and wine. Do tell." Maybe the topic would keep the lesson from being deadly boring.

Daniel went into lecture mode. "Ra had an elaborate court of system lords and minor Goa'uld loyal to him, including Nefertem, Heru'ur, Thoth, Isis, and Osiris."

Okay, maybe not. He lived in hope the beer part would be soon.

"You will recall that Seth attempted to overthrow Ra," Teal'c added, "and that we believe he was responsible for the imprisonment of Osiris and Isis in canopic jars. Jaffa legend also credits him with the killing of Ra's god of war, Montu, during his rebellion."

"Right," Daniel picked up. "Now in Egyptian mythology, Montu's consort, Tenenet, was the goddess of bread, beer, and childbirth—a sort of hearth goddess for everyday life. And Osiris's right-hand man was Shezmu. He was a dispenser of justice, but he was also the god of the wine press and oil press—so a god of wine and oils and perfumes."

Now they were getting somewhere.

"Beer was a daily drink for the Ancient Egyptians, as the water couldn't be trusted, although there were special tribute beers for festivals and worship. Wine was generally reserved for the higher caste people, and was also important ceremonially."

Daniel started waggling his pen back and forth rapidly as he continued. "So what we found on Haphentut were cities of people who physically resemble Ancient Egyptians, much like the Abydonians. They speak a language that's about as similar to Ancient Egyptian as Goa'uld or Abydonian, but has drifted differently over time. And they specialize in beer brewing, wine-making, and oils. Low alcohol–content beer is a daily drink, rather than water, and specialty beers and wine are served at dinner. Most importantly, their word for 'brewery' is _tehenut_ and their word for 'wine press' is _sazama_."

Jack looked blankly at him just to provoke a reaction. " _Tehenut_ and _sazama_ are too similar to 'Tenenet' and 'Shezmu' to be coincidence," Daniel spelled out slowly. _Heh._

"Yet the Haphentutans have no stories of actual visits from gods," Teal'c put in. "Their celebrations take the form of a general thankfulness, but there is no history of Goa'uld visits and no expectation of any."

"No Goa'uld. That's … good," Jack commented.

Daniel waved the end of his pen between Teal'c and himself. "We're hypothesizing that Tenenet and Shezmu started up a colony of slaves specializing in brewing, winemaking, and oil-making on a suitable planet so they could supply Ra's worlds with tribute materials—to win Osiris and Montu brownie points in Ra's court.

"If Seth made his move against Montu and Osiris before the first harvest, and wiped out Tenenet and Shezmu in the process, then no one else would know about the colony and it wouldn't get recorded on the Abydos pyramid. The colony could go on for millennia with no Goa'uld visits, and eventually religion would turn into myth."

"No associations good or bad with the ol' chappa'ai?" Jack checked.

Daniel shook his head. "No. They were pretty astonished when it opened and we came through, but they took it in stride when we were friendly and approached them about trade."

"They are a remarkably peaceful people," Teal'c added.

"Yeah, well, they keep a buzz on," Jack commented, which got him a glare of disapproval from Daniel.

Jack picked up his notebook and absently gave the end of the table a light smack with it. "H'okay, 0900 tomorrow. I'm going to see a man about some pie." And with that he pushed off.

Daniel pursued Jack down the corridor. "So why are you really coming?"

"Planet. Beer. I thought it was self-explanatory."

Daniel's brow furrowed. "No, really."

Jack sighed, and slowed. "My gut."

"Your gut?"

"Yeah." Jack waved his hand in a vague circle around his midsection.

"Are you sure it wasn't the egg salad?" Daniel asked.

"Ha, ha," Jack winced at him. "No, this time it's because I'm _not_ feeling anything."

"Hmm, definitely not the egg salad, then," Daniel mused quietly, then blinked innocently when Jack shot him a glare.

"I _mean_ ," Jack stopped in the hallway, "I trust my gut. I did in the field, and I have it in the big chair, too. I hate to say I told you so—"

"No you don't," Daniel interrupted.

Jack tipped his head slightly in acknowledgment. "Okay, no I don't. But I had a bad feeling about the Atlantis expedition." He poked a finger in Daniel's chest. "The Rand Protectrate." Poke. "That Trust beaming bracelet." Poke. "The Prometheus trip to Pegasus." Poke. "Did. I. Not?" His finger pressed into Daniel's chest.

Daniel just raised his eyebrows and deadpanned, "Ow." He ran his palm up his chest, knocking Jack's finger aside, and rubbed at the area. "And? So?"

Jack shrugged. "So, for once I _don't_ have a bad feeling about this one. I could use a milk run."

Daniel twisted his mouth. "Don't jinx it."

"Don't jinx it by saying, 'Don't jinx it,' " Jack retorted. Daniel rolled his eyes and Jack pulled on his sleeve. "C'mon. Pie."

+

By the time they were halfway through the state dinner, Jack was feeling buzzed, no way around it. Each of them had packs heavy with bottled water for the 36-hour mission, and they had all managed to sneak enough sips that they weren't entirely reliant on the local beer to avoid dehydration under the Haphentut sun, but the tribute beer and the wine at dinner were damned potent. And delicious.

The beer with the appetizers was dense and fruity. The wine for toasting wasn't too heavy, but the deep red served with the main course could drop an elephant. Teal'c was starting to blink slowly already. The big guy'd never been a fan of alcohol even when Junior could handle it for him. Now on tretonin, he got hit with the full effect. Fortunately it made him sleepy rather than belligerent.

A day of translating had taken the starch out of him, too. Yezemen, the headwoman of the city closest to the gate, had been happy to bring them to the region's premier historian so Daniel could yap about origin stories to his heart's content. Teal'c had kept Jack up to speed with the basics of their conversation, which Jack further condensed to:

The origin myths said they came from heaven, where the gods lived, and the gods made them their own world to practice their craft. Some ancient writings indicated they expected the return of the gods; others said the people live on the gift world, but the gods belong in heaven.

It was pretty easy to figure out that within a few generations of no visits the people lost their fear of the Goa'uld. A few more thousand years and the gods were no more real to them than Ra to people on Earth. It made it easier for Daniel to explain to Yezemen and the visiting city heads that the gods weren't gods, but the Haphentutans were still surprised the "gods" were historically real.

After the "intro to the horrors of the galaxy" spiel, talks had moved towards trade opportunities. The Haphentutans obviously had beer, wine, and oils to trade, but Jack was also thinking along the lines of an offworld vacation or recuperation outpost, or the possibility the locals might sometimes temporarily house refugees.

To offer in return, Daniel had picked appropriate samples of Earth beers and wines, so they could do the professional appreciation thing. He'd also brought some useful steel tools, chocolate, hot peppers, and green tea.

Jack groaned inwardly at the memory of Daniel and Teal'c going around and around after their first visit about the Prime Directive, and what impact the introduction of caffeine would have on the Haphentut society. Finally Carter had suggested green tea rather than coffee because it at least provided health benefits, and Jack had jumped on the compromise.

Once everything was on the table, business was over until the next day and partying had begun. Jack had a higher tolerance for beer than Daniel and Teal'c, and Daniel had a higher tolerance for wine than either of them, but all three of them would be lucky to not end up face down in the mushy pea-stuff by the end of the night. As Daniel had warned him, Yezemen found their tipsiness amusing, although she was finding pretty much everything amusing by that point in the meal.

After one sip of the heavy dessert honey wine, Teal'c had to excuse himself to lumber back to their guest room. Jack and Daniel shared a look that promised they _would_ grit it out to the bottom of the glass, and doggedly sipped.

They finally finished and put down their glasses in unison, then Jack turned to Yezemen. "Thank you. It was lovely. Very good. We have to go. Lovely dinner. Beer, wine, very … lovely. Nice people. Lovely." He waved with a smile at the other guests. Daniel offered some sort of translation, Jack hoped _not_ as drunken. At least neither of them was slurring.

He carefully stood up and found his balance, and he and Daniel headed slowly down the corridor. Jack hoped it wasn't too obvious they were propping each other up.

When they got to their room, they found Teal'c already felled like a downed tree across his mattress. He was on his stomach—no danger of him choking if he puked—so they left him alone.

Daniel's pack was still on his bed, and he made a beeline for it, muttering, "Water, water, water." He pulled clumsily at the fastenings until it opened. "Ah." He pulled out a bottle of water, then a second that he held out to Jack.

Daniel went digging in the front packet. "Tylenol," he explained. Jack nodded agreement—on the inside. He didn't much want to start his head actually nodding. Instead he sat on the corner of Daniel's bed to unlace his boots.

Daniel pulled out a handful of individually packed Tylenol doses and spilled them on the coverlet. He picked one up and walked carefully over to Teal'c's bed to leave the packet and a water bottle on his bedside table. Not as effective as hydrating and dosing the night before, but Teal'c would certainly appreciate it in the morning. Daniel was a good friend, Jack thought.

He shuffled back over to the bed and picked up a packet for Jack, as Jack was shoving his boots off. "Thanks." The paper-foil wasn't the easiest to tear open, but he managed and downed the pills. Daniel turned and sat abruptly on the bed, then turned to pull out another water and take his own dose.

Jack was feeling the heavy drag of inertia, barely able to keep sipping the water. The beds were more comfortable than the usual straw mattresses they found offworld—it felt like some kind of fluffy wool. Nice size, too, wider than a single. A bitch to get up from though. He would, any minute. After Daniel finished with his water and boots, maybe.

Daniel shoved his pack and the Tylenol onto the floor, and now Jack seriously needed to think about standing up. Daniel just tugged on Jack's sleeve, though, and said, "Fuck it." He lay down on one side of his mattress, obviously leaving room for Jack, and Jack figured, yeah, fuck it. He crawled clumsily up the other side and passed out.

Sometime in the middle of the night, Jack drifted towards wakefulness. He was warm and comfortable, but something was jostling him. He could feel the body spooned against him turning over, and he automatically lifted his arm until his partner was curled into him face to face.

"Daniel? Go back to sleep, baby," he muttered muzzily, petting the head under his hand.

"Hm," came the sleepy reply, and then a peck on his lips. Jack wrapped his arm back around Daniel and drifted back down into unconsciousness.

+

Jack woke up feeling, in order of realization: cotton-mouthed, a slight headache, hot and sweaty down his front, and numb down his left arm. He slowly grasped that said arm was under a remarkably heavy Daniel, who was also the source of the hot sweatiness.

The next thing Jack felt, in his tour of waking-up realizations, was mortification as he remembered the "baby" and the kiss. He began trying to figure out how to extricate his arm from under Daniel. He hoped desperately that Daniel wouldn't remember what had happened in the middle of the night. It wasn't exactly a normal "friendly" bed-sharing.

Some stubborn spark inside him pointed out how comfortable and _right_ it felt curling up with Daniel, how nice it might be to have … more.

Jack ruthlessly quashed it.

He carefully started rising, trying to slide his arm out without waking Daniel.

"O'Neill." Crap. Teal'c was sitting on the edge of his bed, drinking his water. He looked a little rough, and his voice was even lower than usual, but he seemed to be in better shape than Jack had expected.

He put a finger from his free hand to his lips, but Daniel was already stirring.

"Jack?"

He actually _nuzzled_ into Jack before freezing and opening his eyes. "Oh, uh …" He turned bright pink and pulled away so fast Jack had to grab him to make sure he didn't fall off the edge of the bed.

Jack carefully sat up on the side of the bed down at the foot, wiping his palms against his pant legs, and glanced up at Teal'c. Who was watching them with eyebrows raised.

"I do not see why you pull away from each other now," he said. "This intimacy is long overdue."

Jack felt his own cheeks grow hot, and saw Daniel sitting on the edge of the bed, jaw dropped in disbelief, out of the corner of his eye.

Teal'c was apparently completely unfazed by concerns over, say, _sticking his nose in_ , because he kept going. "I have long expected the two of you to form your household together. The comfort you find in each other's presence, the passion in your arguments, and your shared purpose and faith in each other would all signify a successful marriage."

Jack suddenly remembered teasing Teal'c at Ryac's wedding reception about Teal'c and Ishta's penchant for fighting. At the time he'd thought that Teal'c's responses referencing Jack and Daniel had been some kind of language or cultural misunderstanding. Apparently not.

Too bad Teal'c's bed was right by the door, because it was cutting Jack off from a perfectly good strategic retreat.

"The rules of your military do not allow it," Teal'c continued, "but I see no reason for you to deny the truth of your feelings privately to each other." And with that, Teal'c picked up his pack and headed out, presumably to the bathing room.

"Um …" Daniel finally got out, looking shell-shocked.

Jack opened his mouth, but couldn't even make a noise, and shut it again, dropping his eyes.

Daniel's hand started windmilling, and eventually he started, "Last night, did you call me—"

"Aht!" Jack cut him off. "Besides, you …" he pointed towards his mouth.

Daniel winced.

They both sat, staring down at their hands.

After a frozen minute, that felt like an hour, Daniel said, "So, you haven't denied what …" He waved towards where Teal'c had been sitting.

Jack's forebrain was yelling at him all the reasons he should: the military, their safety, fraternization, changing their friendship, risking his heart—hell, risking his heart on someone who died every other year.

But he couldn't deny anything Teal'c had said.

"Ah, nope," he finally admitted. His heartbeat seemed abnormally loud.

"O-okay," Daniel stuttered. "So we …?" He alternated pointing between them.

"You?" Jack asked.

Daniel hesitated, and then nodded.

"Then, yup," Jack said, and captured Daniel's hand in his. For all that it looked like fourth grade, sitting apart and holding hands, it felt surprisingly grounding.

Daniel's smile flashed, wavered, then reappeared. "Okay," he repeated, and squeezed Jack's hand. "Okay." He cocked his head. "So, milk run, you said."

Jack grinned back in challenge. "Are you saying I've stepped into trouble, here?"

" _I'm_ not going to say it," Daniel protested with a laugh.

"Uh, uh. I know better than to go there," Jack said, heaving himself to standing and pulling Daniel up. He flung an arm over Daniel's shoulders and it felt more right than ever. "C'mon. Let's go scrub down, and then get us a trade agreement."

 

+++

 

**Author's Note:**

> _Links of interest_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Ancient Egyptian beer—[Tutankhamun Ale Story](http://www.byo.com/component/resource/article/2223-tutankhamun-ale)
> 
> Impact of caffeine on society—see first part of [this TED Talk by Steven Johnson](http://www.ted.com/talks/steven_johnson_where_good_ideas_come_from.html)


End file.
